Fear of failure
Mom, I’m hungry. Mom, my belly hurts. Mom, the baby is licking the floor again!
I have to focus. I have a speech in 2 days!
Mom, did you get my pumpkin for school? Mom? Mom!
Shoot. The pumpkin patch. Halloween. Your halloween party is coming up. I need to get an email sent out. I’ll just email the moms during lunch, then work on my speech.
Halloween! Is that day I’ll get to wear my costume? Will you take a picture?
Oh my gosh! Pictures at daycare! You two have pictures at daycare with the baby. I need to get to Target to get you new outfits. I’ll go to target over lunch and get you outfits, that’s more important. While I’m at Target I can return the 4 pillows and the chalk and the blanket. I have to get that done. My speech is going to be dumb anyway.
Mom, I’m hunnnnnngry!
Maybe I’m hungry. No, my stomach hurts. Maybe I’m getting sick. I’ll bet I’m getting sick. The kids are probably gonna get sick. At least one of them could get sick. Maybe it’ll be on Wednesday. Perfect, I hope it’s Wednesday. Then I won’t have to give this speech. And no one will think I’m stupid.
—————
Monday morning is the perfect morning to have second thoughts about anything you’re already having second thoughts about. Monday is the best day to have those “you’re gonna fail” thoughts.
So, let’s talk about this thing called fear of failure and how you can work with it.
I found the perfect thing on the Psychology Today website (a totally legit website): 10 Signs You Might Have Fear of Failure. If you don’t like to click on links, go ahead and read below.
I’ll say I had a solid 8 out of 10 of those signs Monday morning. Eeeek.
But, even luckier for me, the Psychology Today website gave me two things to help deal with the fear of failure.
The first thing: Own the fear.
Okay, awesome. I’m scared I will fail and everyone will think I’m stupid. I own that. I’m kidding. Sorta. Everyone is afraid to fail, but as much as you don’t want to believe it, fear is a good thing, if you own it. So, you might as well own it. OWN. THE. FEAR.
The second thing: Focus on aspects in your control.
Okay, I can’t control what people think of me. So I won’t focus on that. But what I can focus on is the fear. What am I most afraid of? Forgetting my speech. To help with that, I used a print out (the one above). During the middle of my speech I pulled out the 10 signs and I gave one to everyone in the audience. The audience can focus on the list and I can read along. Pretty awesome, huh?
———-
So when Monday comes and that fear of failure creeps in, remember these two small things: own the fear and then focus on something that is in your control. With these two things, you can do anything that fear is holding you from. And, as for me, I should be able to give any speech. Especially since I’ve already given The Worst Speech Ever. (:
Seriously great advice! I agree a lot of the anxiety I have as an anxious mom has a lot to do with things out of my control. I’m a control freak.
It’s definitely so hard to not be in control of every situation involved with the ones you love so much! Every day I’m focusing on learning how to adapt. Thank you for commenting.
Good article. I am experiencing many of these issues as well.. Gwenni Arnie Whitney
Looking forward to reading more. Great article post. Really thank you! Cool. Olive Adolpho Rebane
This is a great reminder of why we procrastinate! Fear of failure was a biggy when I was a people pleaser. It’s much easier now I’m not! Those tips are exactly how I handle fear – when you acknowledge that it’s just there to protect you, and look at what you can and can’t control, it’s a game changer!
Thank you for this advice. Some times I feel like I am drowning in my fear of failure and I’m usually convinced people expect me to fail. I am definitely going to try to own my fear.